May 4, 2001
Before I went to the library sale last Friday, I made sure to pack up a sack of books to donate. Rich said donating books just creates a vacuum to suck more into the empty space in the house. Anyway ...
One of the treasures that I found was Walking on Alligators: A Book of Meditations for Writers by Susan Shaughnessy. It is a one-day-at-a-time book with a quote at the top, a short encouraging essay about writing, and an affirmation for the day at the bottom. The book has taken up residence in my bathroom reading rack and I'm enjoying it very much.
I was looking at the copyright date -- 1993 -- and remembering how intense and popular twelve step programs and doing recovery work was during those early to mid-nineties. I have at least a dozen thought-for-the-day books from a variety of "programs" I've benefited from since the early 1980's (Hey - I was doing this type of work before it was trendy ;-) )
And I was thinking about how I've set aside most of those other books and programs to focus on writing. Sometimes writing is easy for me. Most of the time, there's some huge internal obstacle I must overcome. In her book Shaughnessy says that the resistance we feel when we determine to write is "an integral part of the drive to write -- a shadow you can never shake." That was enlightening to me. I had kept thinking that maybe one day that resistance would just go away and never come back. Then I'd be a "real writer." Knowing I must face it (and conquer it) every day, gives me a greater perspective.
When I was browsing the books at the library sale, a woman on the other side of the table said, "I hope I never find my book here." I questioned her and I guess she had a book published on some topic of women and the law. I would have liked to talk to her more, writer to writer, but there was a huge crush of people pushing us in opposite directions.
Later, I thought about what she said and I think I would be happy to have a book I wrote at a used book sale. I'm incredibly grateful for the books I've found serendipity at the library sales. Especially when I come with no list or agenda and just let myself float free amongst the books, I feel like I am divinely guided to exactly what I'm supposed to be reading right now. So glad I found Walking on Alligators. I need all the encouragement I can get!
(c) 2001 Marcia M. Sacks
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